1 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:09,680 IN TRIBUTE TO MORRIS AND GOSCINNY 2 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,560 Help, help, somebody save me! I'm being chased by a mean sergeant! 3 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,320 I have cornered you now. 4 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,560 Let her go, you two timing snake! 5 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,920 Hang on, are those Queen Crow's voodoo dolls? 6 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,280 No, this is Charlie. 7 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,360 This is me. And this is that good-for-nothing sergeant! 8 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,960 Is there anything you won't steal? 9 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,160 Let him tell his story or we'll never know what happened. 10 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,320 Thank you. So, as I was saying... 11 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,760 Let her go, you two timing snake! 12 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,480 Or I'll have to pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow! 13 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,160 You should try to aim instead of talking so much. 14 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,320 Boom! 15 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,600 How wonderful! 16 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,280 What incredible dexterity, Joe Dalton. 17 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:59,320 Maybe, in fact, you're the man who really, truly shoots quicker than a shadow. 18 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:03,400 That's just my job, dollface. But you, how did you get here? 19 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,160 I dug my way out of the mine after I blew everything up. Kaboom! 20 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,600 That's the sound of the explosion. The blue coats also got out of there. 21 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,880 Tell me, why are they after you? 22 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:16,320 They want to stop me from accomplishing a mission of the utmost importance. 23 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,440 The fact of the matter is... 24 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,640 Something very bad has happened to Luke and Louise. 25 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,200 -You really made my horse Jolly talk? -Well, yeah, I'm simplifying 26 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,880 so that you understand, and stop interrupting me, pretty please? 27 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,120 Because something very big is about to happen like this! 28 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,040 My goodness! The sergeant's still alive. 29 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,200 Save yourself, Charlie! I got you covered. 30 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,840 Go accomplish the mission you didn't have time to explain to me, 31 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,320 and I... I'll find Louise, I promise you. 32 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,840 Really? 33 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,360 - Yes. - Truly? 34 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,160 - Yes. - For real? 35 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,680 - Yes. - Thank heavens. Then go. 36 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,400 Save her. You are her only hope. 37 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,160 You are my only hope You are our only hope. 38 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,520 You're the hope of all humanity. 39 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,720 On top of that, you're handsome. You're handsome as your mustache. 40 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,840 It's so gorgeous. Give me that mouth. 41 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,920 Yeah. 42 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,760 The facts, Joe. The facts. 43 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,440 This is authentically authentic, and I'm severely underselling it. 44 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:27,600 CHAPTER VI MARSHAL CITY 45 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,760 The trail stops here. 46 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,800 She might have stopped here for food and supplies. 47 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,600 "Marshal City, population 138, marshals 138." 48 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,040 Okay, so super sketchy town. 49 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,320 You mean a town that has rules, that has order and sensible people. 50 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,920 Hey, wait a minute. Come back here. 51 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,720 In the name of the law, you're under arrest! 52 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,280 For purchasing an item with inexact change. 53 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,720 I said you could keep the difference. 54 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,720 Yeah, sure. And then I'll end up in jail for fencing copper. 55 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,800 Hey, wait a minute! In the name of the law, 56 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,040 you're under arrest for walking over the speed limit. 57 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,920 Agreed, however, you're no longer in your jurisdiction. 58 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,000 - Right. - Oh, my God. 59 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,520 Overzealous practice of the law. 60 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,000 Let's drop the charges. On a legal technicality? 61 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,000 - Hmm. Okay. - Hmm. 62 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,240 But I don't have my keys. 63 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,040 -Do you have yours? -No, I don't. 64 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,200 DOGS ELEPHANTS NOT ALLOWED 65 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,760 THIS BUSINESS DOES NOT ACCEPT PESOS UNDER 100,000 PESOS 66 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:21,680 CELLS STRICTLY RESERVED FOR OUTLAWS 67 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,560 FITTING ROOMS STRICTLY RESERVED FOR CLOTHED PEOPLE 68 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,120 EVERY OFFENDER RISKS PUNISHMENT OF 2 MONTHS IMPRISONMENT 69 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,400 DO NOT FEEL DO NOT TASTE DO NOT SMELL 70 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,680 What the hell is this-- 71 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,120 Stop! Don't move a muscle! 72 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,400 2:03 p.m. It's legally siesta time. 73 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,280 Law No. 367 74 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,680 THE SIESTA of your NEIGHBOR YOU SHALL RESPECT 75 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,520 - Mmm. - Mmm. 76 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,160 So that's why nobody's here. 77 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,560 Not a horse, not a hen. No men, no women. 78 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,960 With your nonstandard spurs, they would have got you 79 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,880 for daytime noise disturbance. 80 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,520 Up to three months of community service. 81 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,040 I've never heard of that law. 82 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,680 -I've never broken that law. -You guys need to keep up. 83 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,000 Everyone from the banker to the mailman has a colt and a star. 84 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,520 One hundred and thirty-eight marshals and jurisdictions, 85 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,760 each writing 138 laws a day. 86 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,520 Are these laws legal? 87 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,520 They're all certified. They all swore hand to padre's bible. 88 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,920 So, are you also a marshal, like an old lady marshal? 89 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,360 Oh, no, I'm a normal old lady from the town next door. 90 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:38,280 I came here to buy a few things for my grandson's birthday, 91 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,480 but I did something really awful. 92 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:42,960 I fondled the apples. 93 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,080 Fondling fruit is prohibited. Two months in jail. 94 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,800 Law 614 Forbidden fruit, YOU SHALL NOT TOUCH 95 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,360 - What? - And as soon as I got out, 96 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:53,880 I escalated. 97 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,320 I was coughing too loud, 98 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,840 laughing too quietly, yawning with my mouth open. 99 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,600 That's criminal recidivism. 100 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,920 Wait, how long have you been stuck here? 101 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,280 It'll soon be a whole year. 102 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,080 Tomorrow is my grandson's 11th birthday. 103 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,800 I hope this year I can bring him the apple pie I promised him 104 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,360 before I spiral again. 105 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,800 I'm a dangerous outlaw. 106 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,280 No, you're innocent. I'm not. 107 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,680 I'm the dangerous outlaw, they're the dangerous in-laws. 108 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,840 Yep. 109 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,040 Oh, shit! 110 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,880 IMMOBILIZED BEFORE IMPOUNDMENT 111 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,880 - Hey, that's Charlie's! - Yeah, it's her coat. 112 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,360 That horse, have you seen the woman that it belongs to? 113 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,400 I have, but I'm sorry to say she's with our lord now. 114 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,560 -Did they execute her? -What? Of course not. 115 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,000 She got a month of housekeeping for illegally parked horse. 116 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,480 She's sweeping the church. 117 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,560 Mama. 118 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,520 Louise! 119 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,080 Mama. 120 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,840 -Why slap me now? -Why slap me twice? 121 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,480 And why were you kidnapped? 122 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,360 You know exactly what it was for. 123 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,360 I hit you twice because you promised to protect my daughter 124 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:48,880 and instead brought her here 125 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,080 As for the kidnapping, let me explain. 126 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,880 I still don't get it. 127 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,440 This is Elizabeth Zee, the Governor of New Mexico. 128 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,680 Rich, powerful, and dangerous. 129 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,240 I've seen her before. She gives money to your school, no? 130 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,120 That's right. She's the perfect governor on the surface. 131 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,560 Her charity is a cover because her donations are bribes. 132 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,000 She corrupted everyone. Soldiers, politicians, outlaws. 133 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,720 Zee is a spider who weaves her web. Who devours those who cross her paths. 134 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,400 An anti-corruption mayor, a progressive priest, 135 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,440 a journalist with too many questions. They've all disappeared. 136 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,040 And the CTLD thingy? 137 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,080 That's the code Louise found in your bag. 138 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,400 The CLDTLMQPC. 139 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,360 Checklist of dirty, terrible lowlife meanies 140 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,080 and questionable people in the conspiracy. 141 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,280 I mean, these people are super bright. 142 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,840 -So, what's the conspiracy about? -I haven't managed to figure that out yet. 143 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,840 But with a governor like this as its leader... 144 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,440 - New Mexico's in danger. - My thoughts exactly. 145 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,520 One thing I know for sure 146 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,760 is that step one of her plan starts tomorrow at the Herrero Ranch. 147 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,120 A hacienda less than two miles from here. 148 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,600 So, that's where I'm going to stop her. 149 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,680 Who are you? 150 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,960 So, you're not a teacher. 151 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,920 Yes, I am. But only part time. 152 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,200 So, what's the other work that you do? Are you a vigilante? 153 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,640 Oh, no. You mean like, uh, him over there with his guns? 154 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:26,400 No, I investigate, I track, I expose. I just raise awareness. 155 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:27,800 Yeah, so a vigilante. 156 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,240 I've caught a few bad guys, you know? 157 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,560 But see, I was surprised how big it was. 158 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:39,160 At first, I was investigating the theft of funds by an oil businessmen. 159 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,800 -But when I traced back the money-- -When did you have time to do this? 160 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,120 My Spanish classes, and piano. 161 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,080 You made me take them at night. Was that the reason? 162 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,680 Um, but also for you to learn how to play the piano and speak Spanish. 163 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,800 -Did Toukom know this? -He did. 164 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,960 -He knew it was risky. -What about me? 165 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,280 You forgot to tell me you. 166 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,400 You stuck a bunch of books in my hands and locked me in. 167 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,640 You told me to be afraid of the world while you were off playing detective. 168 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,840 -I would've wanted to go too-- -Hey, I know that! 169 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,760 Why do you think I did what I did? As a baby, you escaped your playpen. 170 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,960 -It's in your nature. -And who did I get that from? 171 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,360 From you, or someone else? 172 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:24,880 I wanted to protect you. 173 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,880 No, you wanted to protect yourself! 174 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,600 See how hotheaded you are? 175 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,080 I get that you want to be dramatic, but that's a confessional. 176 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,840 A man's hat on a woman is a sin. 177 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,360 Is that written in the Bible? 178 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,840 Well, it's not very becoming. 179 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,520 And I think God agrees with me. 180 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,840 He doesn't have to worry, it's a woman's hat. 181 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,000 Not just any woman. 182 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,480 Although she's nothing special. 183 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,360 Calamity Jane. 184 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,080 The Sioux feather from the attack on Black Hills. 185 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,960 The bear claw mark on the trim. 186 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,480 And there's even the bullet hole made by Jack McCall. 187 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,000 You're not lying. 188 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,120 Okay, so religion and hats are your thing. 189 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,720 So, we need to find a way to stop Zee. 190 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,440 What do you mean "we"? 191 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,960 Well, you can't dismantle this all by yourself. 192 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,200 Well, actually, that's what I'm doing. And I'm not counting on anybody, 193 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,000 given the number of dishonest people. 194 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,120 Uh, something I'm not. 195 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,920 My bad. Dishonest or cowardly. 196 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,440 Okay, can we talk about the company you keep? 197 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,280 Hey, watch it! 198 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,280 Right now, our priority is to get out of here. 199 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,480 In the last 12 hours, I tried to leave three times. 200 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:47,240 Each time I almost went to jail. 201 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:48,800 If you break a law, a marshal cuffs you. 202 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:49,920 They see everything. 203 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,760 They won't be so smug when I start shooting. 204 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,440 Joe, there's 138. 205 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,240 Yeah. 206 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,200 But the thing is, I'm a huge fan of Mrs. Jane. 207 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,080 In a very sacred and holy way. 208 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,680 Don't get too excited. She's rather disappointing. 209 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,800 Oh, I'm starting to feel a terrible scent of envy arise in me. 210 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,240 Hail Mary. Hail Mary. Hail Mary. That should do the trick. 211 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:17,240 Although, since you're here, would you mind if I touched it? 212 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,680 If you want, but it belonged to a big liar. 213 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,120 Please, no blasphemy. 214 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,440 I'm not. I'm just warning you. 215 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,080 You know, telling a lie isn't always a bad thing. 216 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,000 Sometimes it protects those we love. 217 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,200 No, don't go! 218 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,880 So, I'm ready to forgive you, but no more lying. 219 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:56,960 Okay. 220 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:00,840 Who is my father? 221 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,000 Okay, I get it. 222 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,560 You want to know who your father is? 223 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,200 Your father? 224 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,160 It's me and only me. 225 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,160 -I raised you, I loved you, and I-- -I'm sick of this shit! 226 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,840 Louise, don't! Don't slam-- 227 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,400 In the name of the law, you're under arrest for slamming 228 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:32,960 a sacred door. 229 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,720 -Let my daughter go. -Unlawful yelling in the house of God! 230 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,320 Come on! You're going to jail. 231 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,720 Indecent footwear attire. 232 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,640 -Wait, but I was-- -I don't care. 233 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:52,960 Okay. 234 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,440 Okay, I need to find a way to pick this lock. 235 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,440 Yeah, sure, let's pick it. 236 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,640 Your mission always has to come first, right? 237 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,200 But everything else, like your daughter, you don't care about. 238 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,880 - She's not wrong. - Hey, nobody asked you. 239 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,360 Maybe my mom's not perfect with me, but at least she's done it with me. 240 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,360 As opposed to you, who runs away from everything. 241 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:38,520 She's not wrong. 242 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,160 Okay, so you're both just lousy human beings. 243 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,120 Actually, the least lousy one, well, it's Joe. 244 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,640 And the least incarcerated. 245 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,920 Oh, no. 246 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,920 Joe, you're a marshal? 247 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,320 -What about us? -What about you? 248 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,960 You two don't deserve to get out. 249 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,800 Between you, who slapped me twice even though I saved your butt, 250 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,320 and you, 'cause you're Lucky Luke. 251 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,240 This girl needs stability and guidance. 252 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:18,600 And as a matter of fact, I am officially her legal guardian. 253 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,560 Right here. Look. You see? 254 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,560 I wrote the document, I signed the document as a marshal. 255 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,360 - Jailer! - Mmm? 256 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,880 He's not a marshal, he's Joe Dalton. 257 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,280 You good-for-nothing snake! 258 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:38,840 I swore an oath on the Bible. 259 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,760 You good-for-something marshal. 260 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,120 - That's just-- - You know, Luke, you were right. 261 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:48,960 We have to follow the law. 262 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,280 Since when do you have a Bible? 263 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,680 The 50 weaved baskets 264 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,920 for the feast of Saint Catherine at Santa Memoria. 265 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,280 You know, when I was a nice guy. 266 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,360 The pastor was so happy, he gave me this as a present. 267 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,240 Ah, Lucky Luke in prison. 268 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,800 Louise, try to reason with your guardian. 269 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:14,920 We need to stop, Zee. 270 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,120 No, we need to stop talking. 271 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,080 THE 110 COMMANDMENTS 272 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,760 YOU SHALL TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 273 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,240 Okay, newbies. I want this to be spotless. 274 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,960 Or your community service fine will go from 10 to 30 days, understood? 275 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,240 And no funny business, or it's back to jail. 276 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,960 Hey, what are you doing here? 277 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,960 I was caught touching an apple. I just can't help myself. 278 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,440 I'm a recidivist. 279 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,560 This is driving me nuts. We're in the worst town ever, 280 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,000 surrounded by marshals. 281 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,760 It was hard enough getting out of the church. 282 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,520 Don't worry. We'll find a way out. 283 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,520 Like I said before, there's no "we" in find. 284 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,720 You know, I'm just trying to be nice here. 285 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,000 Just admit you're upset Louise is here. No shame in that. 286 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,800 Ooh, vigilante and therapist? 287 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,040 -You've changed, Luke. -Could you stop being so smug? 288 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,920 Smug? Pfft. I'm not smug at all. 289 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,640 That's funny. Even when you say you're not smug, You're smug. 290 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,480 Says the smuggest guy I've ever known. 291 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,680 Well, that's probably why I know it when I see it then. 292 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,560 Shh! Not so loud, you two. 293 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,320 Didn't you read the 37th commandment of the saloon? 294 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,240 It's forbidden to air out your dirty laundry while doing the dishes. 295 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,520 All offenders will face the boss in a duel. 296 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,080 In a duel? 297 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,120 A duel is perfect, right? 298 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:52,640 You know, because, uh, there may not be a "we" in the verb find. 299 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,880 However, when it comes to the most aggravating 300 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,080 and irresponsible ball breaking b-- 301 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,520 So you're not giving us pistols? 302 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,080 'Cause if there are no pistols, that's not a duel. 303 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,360 Yes, it is. 304 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,000 It's a civilized duel. 305 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,120 Stand ten yards apart, and the first one to say bang wins. 306 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,280 And if I win, I'm free to leave, right? 307 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,680 Yes. But if ever you lose, we'll shoot you. 308 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,200 Don't worry, not with a weapon. 309 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,160 Okay. 310 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:25,880 So then... 311 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,480 -Bang! -Hang on, it hasn't started yet. 312 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:29,640 Oh, okay. 313 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,120 - Now then? - Yes, we can start. 314 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,440 -Bang! -Too early. 315 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,920 -But you just told me that-- -Okay, now you can go. 316 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,680 -Bang! -Hey, come on. I wasn't ready yet. 317 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,080 - What? - He wasn't ready. 318 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,320 -Bang! -You didn't cock your gun. 319 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,400 But... 320 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,320 - Bang! - Too early. 321 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,160 -That's five times. -We still have rules. 322 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,720 -Bang. -He needs to yell for me to hear. 323 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,760 -Let's start over. -What in the name... 324 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 Let's go. 325 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:42,920 - Bang! - Bang! 326 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,840 - The person on my left wins. - Yes! 327 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,600 Uh, no, I was the first one to say bang. 328 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,000 But it was your seventh bang. You were out of bullets. 329 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,160 Forget about it. I'm unbeatable. 330 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,320 Come on, stop pouting. 331 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,040 It's humiliating, but you'll live. 332 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,320 - It made you happy, sounds like. - It didn't. 333 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,600 Well, okay, maybe a little. 334 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,240 I screwed up, right? 335 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,520 No, don't say that. Zee hasn't won yet. 336 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,640 -We're gonna get out of here-- -That's not what I mean. 337 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,080 It took me a while. 338 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,400 But I came back, you know? 339 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,280 -I'm sorry, what? -Twenty years ago. 340 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,680 I came back for you. 341 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,120 There was a guy with a bouquet of flowers I'd never seen before. 342 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,280 They were exotic flowers, yeah, 343 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,480 he crossed the whole county to bring them to me. 344 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,520 Wait a minute. So you came back? 345 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:47,880 - But why-- - Did I leave again? 346 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,400 Because I saw you, the girl, and her father. 347 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,120 No. No! That was just a guy who was trying to get me in his bed. 348 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,240 But that takes more than a couple petals. 349 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,760 And Mr. Willow, what did he do to catch you? 350 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,480 There's never been a Mr. Willow. 351 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,920 It's the name I chose for myself, the family name I chose for Louise and me. 352 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,840 So, Willow, as in weeping willow? 353 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,920 The tree where we carved our names, wasn't that on a weep-- 354 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000 - No. - Yes, it was. 355 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,280 And I remember our very first kiss was under-- 356 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,680 Unrelated. 357 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:29,320 Willow was for the tree where Louise had her swing. 358 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,560 So you're wrong. 359 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:46,120 ABRAHAM LINCOLN VISITS THE MUSEUM OF THE DESERT IN LAS CRUCES! 360 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,520 Okay, I think they've learned their lesson. 361 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,920 -Let's go free them. -Sorry, sweetie. 362 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,120 That's not part of the plan. 363 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,560 Today, it's beef and potatoes and squirrel hunting with your Pa. 364 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,080 I don't think so. 365 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,640 -I'm against making animals suffer. -Well, I'm all for sufferance. 366 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,840 Not just for animals. So I want you to sit up straight, 367 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,440 put down that stupid newspaper and be happy and start eating 368 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:16,240 what I spent ten hours making for you so we can enjoy some quality time! 369 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,320 I don't eat meat. 370 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,160 You're a Dalton. We're meatetarians. So eat your meat. 371 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,320 Okay, Joe, it was funny while it lasted, but now you're getting on my nerves! 372 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,640 -Is that how you talk to your father? -Never. 373 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,480 But my guardian can bite my horse's-- 374 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,640 Be careful, young lady. I will not tolerate your insolence. 375 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,440 I'm warning you, if you walk through that door, 376 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:44,880 I'll lock you up for the rest of... 377 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,120 ...your life! 378 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,960 In the name of my law, come back here! 379 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,480 I'm ordering you to stop! 380 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,840 Sorry, my son, but your orders no longer apply. 381 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,080 The young lady just left your jurisdiction. 382 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,000 Great. Okay, goodbye. 383 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,760 However, she's entered into mine. 384 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,440 So if she's in breach of patriarchy rules, just tell me. 385 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,160 Wait just a second. Oh... 386 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,080 No! 387 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,200 No, no! No! 388 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,200 No! No! 389 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,880 I know how to get out of here! 390 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,960 Don't move, you're under arrest! 391 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,760 I'll be sentenced to death? 392 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,840 Oh, yes. 393 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,080 So that means I'm allowed to have a last request. 394 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,360 What do you mean? 395 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,200 You mean there's no law protecting a convict's last request? 396 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,080 Uh, yeah, there is. 397 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,520 Well, mine is for you to read a psalm. 398 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:08,920 Please read, Father. 399 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,680 "And God said to Cain, 'Hey, Cain, 400 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:21,840 "'come over here a sec. 401 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,200 "'You were very not nice, uh, to your brother,'" there. 402 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,400 Please read. The words. 403 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,960 "And as the burning bush was burning, 404 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,000 and as the house of sin was burning, 405 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,520 and as the saloon of Jack McCall was burning, 406 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,760 Calamity Jane slowly rode off into the sunset." 407 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:48,880 Thank you, Father. 408 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,760 You all swore an oath on this book. 409 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,720 So, you all swore... 410 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,520 to be marshals on a work of fiction. 411 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,720 CALAMITY JANE LIFE AND ADVENTURES - VOLUME 2 412 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:01,880 I know, lame. 413 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,360 So, I guess that means nobody here is a marshal. 414 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:08,920 - No. - Wait a minute. 415 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,400 Who will arrest us for impersonating an officer? 416 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,280 We will. 417 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,040 We don't mind. 418 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,880 Did you really have to give 'em all of your weapons? 419 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,600 They're part of the U.S. Army. 420 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,400 They're corrupt and on the wrong side of the law. 421 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,480 Yeah, and we no longer have a side, so... 422 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,240 Hey you, you're not a marshal. 423 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,800 Why are you following orders? 424 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,200 Because I'm a jailer, that's what I do. Jailing runs in the family. 425 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,800 Please excuse his manners. 426 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,480 He's somewhat cross that you tried to bury us alive. 427 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:12,000 Come on, tell me where are the CLDMPQ... 428 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,080 O? 429 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,160 The... The CM... 430 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,120 LL... The CL... D... 431 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,120 The... The... 432 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,640 It gets complicated when there's more than three letters, right? 433 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:31,880 Be reasonable. 434 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,320 You know what we're capable of. 435 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,400 You remember your old Native friend. 436 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,680 Just stop. It's useless. 437 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,480 Can't you see we're screwed? 438 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,400 -Wait, they got you too? -Yeah. 439 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,240 -Did you put up a fight at least? -Of course I put up a fight. 440 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,680 But they surprised me. The first one got my groin on his knee. 441 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,720 The other one, I strangled him with the rattlesnake. 442 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,080 -So you were sleeping? -Yeah. 443 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,160 Hmm. 444 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,000 It doesn't matter. I kinda knew that I wasn't really a marshal. 445 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,360 Wait, you are. 446 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:06,000 Your Bible is a real Bible. You didn't swear on Calamity Jane. 447 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,160 Ah... 448 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,680 No, I don't get it. 449 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,920 I never thought I'd say this to you, Joe. 450 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,080 But you're the only real marshal in this town. 451 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,280 Please, sir, we have a failure of justice right here. 452 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,320 Here! I got these back for you. 453 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,000 Also, really important, how does it feel being my deputies? 454 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,360 Well! 455 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,560 So, where is it? 456 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,360 Hey, blue coats! 457 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,520 That jailer guy, he must have emptied our guns. 458 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,400 And maybe you didn't check 'em. 459 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,880 I didn't check 'em. You didn't check 'em. So nobody checked them? 460 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,000 They didn't check them. 461 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,160 Come out! Slowly. We won't hurt you. 462 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,800 Mmm-hmm. 463 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,080 What do we do? 464 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,120 -We gun them down. -How can we? We have no bullets! 465 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,160 Yeah, but we have guns. 466 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,000 Thanks for the distraction. It allowed a real man 467 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:49,960 to come and save the day. Isn't that right? 468 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:07,560 Thank you, sweetie. 469 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,800 Not far from there... 470 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:42,880 Good day. 471 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,800 What a charming little town you have here. 472 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,360 Even if it does lack a bit of color. 473 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,000 Regarding our upcoming event. 474 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,720 For this event-- 475 00:29:58,800 --> 00:29:59,800 Rin Tin Tin. With me! 476 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,360 I'm sorry. 477 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,120 He thinks that "with me" means bark. 478 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:05,920 Rin Tin Tin, sit! 479 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,680 Oh, "sit" means bark too, then? 480 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,600 Rin Tin Tin, quiet! 481 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,960 This dog is a major moron. 482 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,400 Uh, I guess he just wants to participate in the conversation. 483 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:17,960 He's a funny dog. 484 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,000 Listen carefully. 485 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,000 Or I'll do unforgivable things to you. 486 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,760 I don't think you'll ever see that dog again. 487 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:37,920 What did you say to him? 488 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,000 The same thing I'll do to you if you disappoint me. 489 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:44,200 This man. 490 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,360 I would like you to tell me where he is. I'm going to need him. 491 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,680 -He's a monster. -No. 492 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,800 He's the person every monster is afraid of. 493 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,680 So, to lead an army of demons, I'm gonna need the devil. 494 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,320 Lightning 495 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,040 So, you guys are leaving right now? 496 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,720 Yeah, we're going to the Herrero Ranch to stop Zee. 497 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:32,440 I think I'm gonna stay here. 498 00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:34,920 What do you mean? 499 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,880 Well, this town needs a marshal, and I'm having fun. 500 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,760 Also, I brought you this for the road. 501 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,640 Since you're an animal lover, it's just potatoes. 502 00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,720 I'm really sorry for what I said earlier. 503 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,320 I'm not your father. I'm sorry I lied. 504 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,160 Why'd you do that? 505 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,680 To bug the shit out of Luke. That's the official version. 506 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,480 And also because I loved your mother. 507 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,720 I would have loved to have had a daughter like you. 508 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:14,880 A family. 509 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,640 You miss your brothers. 510 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,400 You're really like your mom, you know? 511 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:32,640 Way too smart for me. 512 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:37,720 Your mom and I were never together. 513 00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:39,720 She just taught me to read. 514 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,600 I was crazy about her, but, uh, her heart was already taken. 515 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,800 - I know, I saw. - You saw? 516 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:50,600 You mean in the dream world? 517 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,080 You sneaky little girl. You didn't say anything. 518 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,720 You actually could be my daughter. 519 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,440 Do you think he's my dad? 520 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,240 Why don't you talk about it once and for all? 521 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,840 I don't know, I mean, um, we have so many things to take care of, 522 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,960 uh, a few emergencies? 523 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,960 -The U.S. to save. -Ah, cowardice. 524 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,160 The fear of knowing the truth. Now, that's just like Luke. 525 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:24,480 Whoa! 526 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:26,920 I didn't touch them! 527 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,200 -Yes, you did touch 'em! -No. No, no. 528 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:30,720 Yes, you did touch them. 529 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,080 You did. 530 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,520 -So I'm sentencing you... -Joe! 531 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,880 ...to touch them over and over until you find the best apples 532 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,360 for your grandson's apple pie. 533 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:41,840 Go ahead. 534 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,120 Go ahead, yeah. 535 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,480 Touch all you want. 536 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:13,680 ABRAHAM LINCOLN VISITS THE MUSEUM OF THE DESERT IN LAS CRUCES! 537 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,320 THE PRESIDENT LEAVES BOSTON LAUNCHES HIS TOUR OF AMERICA! 538 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,200 THE HEAD OF STATE PASTES STICKERS 539 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:24,840 LINCOLN STOPS IN NASHVILLE 540 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,960 THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES DISCOVERS DALLAS AND ITS CRUEL UNIVERSE! 541 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,880 GRAND TOUR OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN IN THE WEST ONLY 6 DAYS AWAY! 542 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,480 Are you okay, Louise? 543 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,720 Zee's conspiracy, it's about Abraham Lincoln. 544 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,560 He arrived in New Mexico today. 545 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,720 She wants to kill the President of the United States? 546 00:34:56,720 --> 00:35:00,720 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com